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31 Top Gifts From Amazon So Genius, We Can’t Belie'e They’re Still A'ailable

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31 Top Gifts From Amazon So Genius, We Can’t Belie’e They’re Still A’ailable

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31 Top Gifts From Amazon So Genius, We Can’t Belie’e They’re Still A’ailable

Sweatin’ over wha’ t’get e’eryone in yer life? Chill out, because we’re about t’make holiday gift shoppin’ effortless fer ye. We hunted down t’op presents from Amazon people be buyin’ right now. Thar be truly somethin’ fer each landlubber on yer list. Shop through these highly co’eted items an’ get them before they’re gone!

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Yer Weekly Top Ten Be Too Tired T' Write A Headline

TOP TEN, HEY!
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Ready t’count down t’op stories? Yarr, ye be.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
10. Why Be Pat Robertson Dropkickin’ Trump Into Hell Today, WAIT Wha’?
9. These Be Jus’ Some Really Good Jams About How Yonder Earth Be Flat An’ Gra’ity Be Not Real
8. Sorry About Yer Trump Slob Picnic, Minneapolis
7. Trump Not Sure If Rudy Giuliani Be Literal Actual Foreign Agent ¯_(ツ)_/¯
6. Liz Cheney Knows Who’s Really Murderin’ Ye Kurds, An’ It Be DAMN Ye ADAM SCHIFF!
5. Mick Mul’aney: Trump Committed Ukraine Crimes, It Was Awesome, GET OVER IT!
4. Bombshell Congressional Testimony Gently Suggests NYT’s Ken Vogel Be Bad Reporter
3. Let’s Meet Rudy Giuliani’s Team O’ Dipsh*ts, Most O’ Whom Be In Jail Or Under House Arrest In Vienna Right Now
2. Who In’ited Tulsi? Yer Democratic Debate Li’eblog!
1. Four Different Federal Courts Told Trump t’Go Fuck Himself Yesterday
Those be good stories!
OK that be all, go wi’ God, etc.
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Wonkette
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Evan Hurst

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