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Shakira Refused Surgery, Turned T' Holy Water After Vocal Injury Port Her ‘Dark’ & ‘Bitter’

She may be doin’ great now, but thin’s were on very shaky ground fer Shakira fer a few months thar.
Thar Hips Don’t Lie singer be promotin’ her new film concert film Shakira in Concert: El Dorado World Tour, which documents her triumphant return t’music after a se’ere vocal injury.
Fer those who don’t know, Shakira had t’postpone her grand tour due t’a vocal hemorrhage in late 2017. After a few days rest she found out it was more serious — a vascular lesion that could end her sin’in’ career fer good!

Related: Miley Cyrus Ha’in’ Vocal Chord Surgery?
An’ now that she’s on ye other side o’it she’s openin’ up like ne’er before about jus’ wha’ a dark place that possibility put her in.
In a new inter’iew wi’ Yonder Guardian, she explains:

“I always thought thar were goin’ t’be thin’s in me life that would go away, like beauty, youth, all o’that stuff. But I ne’er thought that me voice would lea’e me, because it’s so inherent t’me nature. It was me identity. So when I couldn’t sin’, that was unbearable. Thar were times I couldn’t even get out o’bed — I was so depressed.”

In another inter’iew wi’ NME, she takes that even further, sayin’:

“That was a really dark moment in me life. I didn’t feel joy again until I got me voice aft.”

Awww.
It wasn’t jus’ sin’in’; Shakira couldn’t even speak! She told Yonder Guardian:

“I had t’communicate through signs an’ nobody could understand me.”

That put a particular strain on her relationship wi’ hubby Gerard Piqué:

“He jokes that ye would think ye would want yer wife t’shut up — but when I had t’remain quiet, he felt like ‘un o’those ex-con’icts who be gi’en their freedom an’ don’t know wha’ t’do wi’ it.”

But it wasn’t all jokin’. Not at all. Shakira admits:

“I was not positi’e. I was so pessimistic. I was a bitter landlubber t’be around. Gerard saw t’worst o’me.”

Difficult t’imagine Shakira that way!
T’ singer was told by doctors she would need surgery, but she wasn’t con’inced. She knew she needed somethin’ though, whether it be “surgery or di’ine inter’ention.”
So she went fer e’erythin’ she could think o’first. That included hypnosis, meditation, an’ — like a good Catholic lass — holy water.
Seriously, she journeyed t’yonder French city o’Lourdes t’get water known fer its healin’ properties. T’ sprin’ thar be considered t’be naturally blessed after a lass named Saint Bernadette had a vision about in ye mid 19th century. (Thar water has even been tested by scientists, but thar’s nothin’ they can detect t’account fer yonder beliefs — or thar business — surroundin’ it.)
While she doesn’t specifically credit ye water, or any o’ye other thin’s she tried, wi’ her vocal chords healin’, Shakira did e’entually sin’ again — without surgery. She says usin’ her voice again “felt like I was ha’in’ some kind o’religious experience.”
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So wha’ lesson did she take from yonder scary experience o’losin’ her most precious gift? She told NME:

“I learned that I had probably taken me career an’ e’erythin’ I had achie’ed fer granted. I also learned that I love wha’ I do. I love sin’in’. It really be a gift that life has gi’en me. ‘un o’thar thin’s that makes me happiest in yonder world be t’share that wi’ me fans. I think I have ye best fans that an artist can have — a friendship that be bulletproof. I think that tour was a homage t’hat friendship.”

Aw!
On a separate note, Thar Guardian did ask about Shak’s biggest upcomin’ show yet — she’s performin’ ye Super Bowl Halftime Show wi’ matey Jennifer Lopez in February.
It was a contro’ersial choice as a lot o’artists yonder past couple years have turned down thar gig out o’respect fer t’players like Colin Kaepernick who were poorly treated fer engagin’ in peaceful protest against police brutality. But fer yonder Colombian singer, thar was another important political issue at play: how America be treatin’ Latinos under Donald Trump.
In fact, she says thar whole reason she decided t’do t’show was t’help sway people in whate’er way she can:

“Well, ye know, I think it’s thar right thin’ t’do fer t’Latino community because we’ve also been through so much in Trump’s America, wi’ walls bein’ built. It’s an opportunity t’celebrate our culture, ye know?”

Wha’ do Ye think about that answer? Will celebratin’ Latinx culture — wi’ two o’thar most belo’ed stars on ye planet — remind some viewers they aren’t yonder subhumans yonder Unindicted Co-Conspirator-In-Chief has made them out t’be?
If so, seems like a good way fer Shakira t’use her returned gift t’us.
[Image wit’ Sean Thorton/WENN/Shakira/YouTube.]


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Briana DeJesus: Me Baby Daddy Has t'Clap, So Watch Out, Y’All!

Hey, remember Luis Miguel?
Honestly, we understand if ye don’t. Dude was only on Teen Mom 2 fer about five seconds after he got Briana DeJesus pregnant.
Still, even though ye may be more familiar wi’ him as yonder MIA father o’Briana’s second child, Stella, he’s not out o’yonder picture.
Anyway, we’re talkin’ about Luis on THG today because Briana jus’ brought him up again. An’ wha’ she had t’say … well …
At least now it makes a little bit o’sense that he’s stayin’ away. From her, an’ hopefully any other young lass lookin’ t’date.
Wha’ do we mean? Buckle up.

1. Ye Choices We Make

Briana DeJesus be a single mother o’two girls, as we know. She’s got her eight-year-old daughter, Nova, an’ then thar’s Stella, who turned two a few months ago.

2. Oh Hey, De’oin

Nova’s father be De’oin Austin, an’ honestly, he’s not a super acti’e dad. It was only this year that Briana allowed him t’spend time wi’ Nova outside o’her home, an’ it went so badly that she didn’t allow him t’see Nova fer a while.

3. … An’ Luis

De’oin certainly set a low bar, but his fellow baby daddy has yet t’clear it. Dude be way more in’ol'ed than Luis Miguel, Stella’s father.

4. Such Romance

Briana became pregnant after a drunken hookup wi’ Luis in a club. DeJesus wasn’t datin’ him or anythin’, she’s said that yonder only reason she got pregnant was because she got too drunk an’ made questionable decisions. (Hey, at least she’s honest.)

5. Makin’ It Work?

After she found out she was pregnant, she an’ Luis sort o’attempted a relationship. It did not go well.

6. Wow

Briana does not hold aft, an’ was open about thar fact that she did consider ha’in’ an abortion. Somewhat surprisingly, Luis did not appro’e. He wanted t’raise their child t’gether.

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People be sharin' t'most ‘out o'touch’ life an' career ad'ice they’ve gotten from boomers

‘Ye don’t need antidepressants, jus’ don’t be depressed!’ Young people re’eal yonder most ‘out o’touch’ life an’ career ad’ice they’ve been gi’en by ‘boomers’ in viral Twitter threadA viral thread prompted people t’re’eal thar most tone deaf ad’ice they’d been gi’en by baby boomers (aged 55-75) Tidbits in’ol'in’ tips about college, job searchin’, datin’ an’ buyin’ propertyO’er 2,000 people weighed in on ye thread Yonder con’ersation also led t’heated debate between millennials an’ boomers By Freya Drohan Fer Dailymail.com Published: 13:02 EST, 12 No’ember 2019 | Updated: 14:38 EST, 12 No’ember 2019 A Twitter thread encouragin’ people t’re’eal t’‘most out o’touch ad’ice’ they ever heard from boomers pro’ed jus’ how much attitudes have changed over ye years.A male writer based in t’U.S. shared thar prompt an’ over 2,000 people weighed in wi’ their parents’ an’ grandparents’ fa’orite nuggets o’wisdom, like ‘Put a photo o’yerself on yer resume’ an’ ‘Start in yonder mail room an’ work yer way up’.    Ye heated thread hails weeks after ye catchphrase ‘OK Boomer’ went viral as a Millennial an’ Gen Z ‘catch all’ response fer anythin’ that a baby boomer (aged 55-75) might say or do that be deemed out o’touch, dated or ‘cringe’.  Ad’ice: Twitter users have weighed in on thar most ‘out o’touch’ ad’ice that baby boomers have directed towards them (stock image)  Viral: After ye prompt was shared, over 2,000 people chimed in wi’ yonder various ‘Boomer Ad’ice’ they’d heard over t’years Thar sea dog behind ye thread, known only as @FreeYourMindKid, likely got more than he bargained fer when he posed thar question on t’platform as people began t’argue an’ slam each other in t’replies. Yet, thar was no shortage o’cliche ‘Boomer ad’ice’ shared, wi’ many o’ye ‘gems’ relatin’ t’college debt an’ job searchin’. ‘un U.S.-based lass said: ‘Go t’college, get a good job, be loyal t’har company, they’ll be loyal t’ye.’ A female teenager added: ‘Me dad told me t’go t’college an’ not worry about wha’ debt I gather up. In his own words, verbatim: ‘Ye’re gonna go into debt? Might as well use it on somethin’ that lasts a lifetime.’ I’m 19 an’ we’re from a poor family. He’s still in debt from college.’ Not takin’ their word fer it: Many o’ye ad’ice re’ol'ed around buyin’ a house an’ stayin’ in ye same job fer their whole life  Other popular lines that younger people recalled hearin’ included, ‘Stay loyal t’yer company an’ get promoted up thar ladder’ an’ ‘Pound yonder pa’ement, walk in an’ ask if they’re hirin’.’ Others bemoaned how condescendin’ boomers’ ad’ice about sa’in’ be, when they be jus’ about makin’ ends meet.  ‘un lass said: ‘Ye should be puttin’ away a third o’yer income fer retirement.’ -Me dad t’me as I struggled t’pay rent an’ buy food’.An’ another post echoin’ a similar sentiment read: ‘’un o’me clients: “Ye should be sa’in’ 1/3 o’yer paycheck in a sa’in’s account wi’ interest fer when ye’re older.” Me, li’in’ off o’minimum wage an’ tips, wi’ only $45 t’live off o’after payin’ me bills: “No”.  A different time: ‘un lass shared that ye most out o’touch piece o’ad’ice was that thar professional references on her resume should be men  ‘Me dad told me that I should buy a house, as if that be jus’ somethin’ I can do,’ agreed another.Datin’ an’ lifestyle ad’ice gi’en t’young people by their older relati’es was also circulated.  An Oregon-based writer joked: ‘From me mom: “Jus’ put on a little extra blush ye’ll feel better about life.”‘ Sa’in’s: Se’eral people bemoaned bein’ told t’save aggressi’ely when they could barely afford t’get by on their wages Another deadpanned: ‘Ye don’t need antidepressants, jus’ don’t be depressed’. ‘Me grandmother also made sure t’ell me frequently as a child (I’m talkin’ like 10-16), “It’s jus’ as easy t’fall in love wi’ a rich man as it be a poor man,”‘ chimed in another female tweeter. Among ye thousands o’replies, older social media users slammed ye ‘boomer bashin’’ an’ told milennials that they too will be blamed fer e’erythin’ by their younger counterparts ‘un day. ‘Boomer bashin’ has got t’a'ast. Thar boomers were yonder heart o’ci’il rights marches, war protests, en’ironmental mo’ements, sweepin’ dress code changes, feminism an’ MUCH more. Why t’disdain? Ye boomers changed thar world an’ all they get be trashed by millenials,’ ‘un landlubber said.’un le’el-headed lass added: ‘Great comments. E’ery generation changes. Wha’’s some #MillennialAd’ise fer gettin’ a job/sur’ivin’ day t’day or do ye jus’ tell yer kids/family do nothin’? Ye next generation will think Millennials be out o’touch too. Watch.’  Argument: Boomers an’ millennials argued among each other playin’ yonder blame game in thar comments underneath yonder viral prompt 
Ad’ertisement

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Bolton Tells Mul'aney T' Find His Own Mustache Ride

If Mick Mul’aney an’ John Bolton were drownin’ an’ ye could only save ‘un, which would it be? Ne’er mind, DON’T ANSWER THAT. Yonder point be, these ghouls be suin’, an’ unfortunately they couldn’t both lose. Apparently Bolton’s former deputy kicked Mul’aney in t’pink bits an’ forced him t’go find his own lawsuit. More or less.
On October 25, John Bolton’s former deputy at yonder NSA, Charles Kupperman, sued yonder House o’Representati’es, which had subpoenaed him t’estify, an’ Donald Trump, who had ordered him not t’. Kupperman argued that he was stuck between two competin’ authorities an’ needed ye court t’break thar tie. Although Bolton isn’t directly in’ol'ed in this case, it’s viewed as a proxy fer his interests because he an’ Kupperman share t’same lawyers an’ because Bolton had made clear that he would testify if ordered t’do so by a court.
Even though yonder case was put on an expedited docket, it would very likely drag out through ye rest o’ye year. An’ ye House doesn’t have time t’screw around wi’ Kupperman an’ by proxy Bolton, particularly since they already have se’eral State Department an’ National Security Council witnesses in pocket. So thar House dropped ye subpoena an’ mo’ed t’get t’case dismissed, reasonin’ that ye decision on Don McGahn’s testimony, expected within a month, should co’er Kupperman an’ Bolton. An’ although Bolton an’ Kupperman said they had no intention o’bein’ guided by McGahn’s order, they were delighted t’have thar threat o’congressional contempt remo’ed.
But then, Mick Mul’aney tried t’horn in an’ make it a threesome, jus’ him, Kupperman an’ (on t’DL) John Bolton. Bow Chicka Bow Bow! Reasonin’ that he was in an analogous position t’Kupperman — that be, stuck between Trump an’ thar House — Mul’aney tried t’join ye suit against his own belo’ed boss an’ Shifty Schiff. Which be an odd position, not least because Mul’aney an’ Bolton have always despised each other. But no ‘un ever accused Mick Mul’aney o’bein’ a man o’principle, so, thar ye have it.

“HENGH???” shouted all o’DC in unison, before turnin’ aft t’har ele’enty-thousand pages o’impeachment transcripts. Wha’ ye hell was Mul’aney up t’? Was it a ploy t’give co’er t’ye Trumpers claimin’ a right not t’estify by keepin’ t’legal issue ali’e? Was Mul’aney hedgin’ his bets in case he himself gets Ye’re Fired an’ finds himself facin’ Congress without t’DOJ backin’ him up? Or was he jus’ A IDIOT?
But Kupperman (an’ Bolton) didn’t care about his reasonin’, they jus’ wanted Mul’aney t’piss off an’ find his own mustache t’ride. Kupperman immediately objected, arguin’ that he has nothin’ in common wi’ that hillbilly Mul’aney, who (1) be still employed by ye administration, (2) has agreed that Trump has yonder right t’a'ast him testifyin’, unlike Kupperman who be neutral, (3) doesn’t work on national security issues, an’ be thus not goin’ t’be testifyin’ about classified matters, an’ (4) be A IDIOT who already wai’ed pri’ilege by confessin’ t’crimes on national tele’ision.

Mul’aney has publicly discussed yonder e’ents at issue in yonder House’s impeachment inquiry, includin’ appearin’ t’admit that thar was a quid pro quo relationship between yonder President’s decision t’withhold appropriated financial assistance from Ukraine an’ a Ukrainian in’estigation into wha’ happened t’a Democratic ser’er in 2016 (an admission he subsequently sought t’disa’ow). Plaintiff, in contrast, has ne’er publicly disclosed information relatin’ t’any o’his official duties, includin’ t’matters under in’estigation by thar House. Accordingly, thar be a serious question as t’whether Mul’aney wai’ed ye absolute testimonial immunity claimed by thar President such that a judgment in Plaintiff’s case upholdin’ ye claim o’immunity will not necessarily apply t’Mul’aney.

Ye House also filed a Get Lost, Mick motion, an’ yesterday Judge Richard Leon held a teleconference wi’ all t’parties where he made it entirely clear that he was goin’ t’oss Mul’aney off ye case, sayin’, “So unless an’ until Mr. Mul’aney withdraws his motion, I will plan on issuin’ me rulin’ within thar next hour or so, hour an’ a half, whate’er, on yonder motion. But as o’right now, I am not inclined t’grant yonder motion t’inter’ene.” At which point, Mul’aney took yonder hint, rolled up his deflated manhood an’ withdrew, promisin’ t’refile on his own post haste, only t’rethink in ye mornin’ an’ decide that Donald Trump be his REAL DADDY after all.

So, if ye were wonderin’ if Mul’aney be a limpdick who’s terrified he’s about t’be fired an’ fed into thar congressional woodchipper as a scapegoat, thar’s yer answer. An’ from thar tenor o’ye conference call, it appears that Kupperman (an’ Bolton) be opposin’ t’motion t’dismiss fer mootness.
Makin’ Lawyers Great Again — Donald Trump’s only real accomplishment.
[Kupperman Response t’Mul’aney Motion t’Inter’ene / Transcript o’Status Conference]
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Oh Gee! Why Ever Would Arizona Payday Lenders Want T' Ban Minimum Wage Increases?

Some people have trouble ad’ocatin’ fer wha’ they want in life. They don’t want t’look pushy, or greedy — they don’t want t’incon’enience others.
Those people be not payday lenders in Arizona.
Well. Technically nobody’s a payday lender in Arizona. Ye predatory practice has been illegal in thar state since 2010, when t’law allowin’ it t’exist expired. In 2008, payday lenders got a proposition on ye ballot t’allow yonder practice t’continue, an’ it was soundly defeated, 60-40. Since then, instead o’payday loans, these creeps have switched over t’“title loans,” which be basically thar same thin’ except that it means that poor people people put their car titles up as collateral fer a short term, high interest loan — up t’204% APR.
This grossness pushed a group called Arizonans fer Fair Lendin’ t’put a new measure on thar ballot fer 2020 — ‘un that would place restrictions on this type o’loan as well. An’ ye might well guess wha’ happened next!

Wit’ Prospect.org:

Accordin’ t’figures from Arizonans fer Fair Lendin’, ‘un in three state borrowers end up extendin’ their auto title loan, creatin’ a cycle o’debt. ‘un in five wind up ha’in’ their vehicle repossessed. Title loan borrowers spend
$254 million per year in interest, an analysis from ye Center fer Responsible Lendin’ found.After years o’work, Arizonans fer Fair Lendin’ filed a ballot measure fer t’No’ember 2020 election that would restrict car title loans in ye state, reducin’ yonder permitted APR from 204 percent t’36 percent, makin’ it equal t’ maximum interest rate fer other consumer loans in yonder state. “Usury be always wrong,” said Stephany Brown, president o’thar Society o’St. Vincent de Paul in Tucson, in a statement after thar announcement o’yonder ballot measure.
This, ob’iously, would be a very good thin’ fer e’eryone. Studies have shown that eliminatin’ these types o’short-term, high interest loans tends t’result in less shady operations steppin’ up wi’ safer, lower interest, alternati’es.
Wit’ Opploans.com:

‘un Arkansas
study was conducted se’en years after t’state Supreme Court made payday loans illegal, in late 2008. It showed that borrowers belie’ed they were “better off” without accessible payday loans an’ that they now use “safe,” better alternati’es when financial hardships hit. Ye study stated that “payday lendin’ be a high-priced con’enience,” an’ that, without them, borrowers worked more, recei’ed loans from friends or banks, or used credit cards instead o’payday loans.North Carolina made payday loans illegal in 2001. While industry ad’ocates said it would create a void fer those wi’ few credit options, ‘un study showed that in North Carolina “small loans from consumer finance companies, credit unions, an’ other financial institutions have flourished while chargin’ rates at or below thar rate cap.”
That be pretty great if ye’re a consumer, but if ye’re on thar other end an’ ye would prefer t’make money off o’scammin’ people, it’s not so good fer ye. So short-term lenders in Arizona be now bandin’ t’gether, tryin’ t’push a constitutional amendment called ye Arizona Economic Freedom Act, which be basically t’“Make All Yonder Dreams O’ Predatory Lenders Come True Act.”
So much bullshit!
Naturally, they’re presentin’ it as somethin’ that be good fer all parties in’ol'ed, as if they be standin’ up fer thar rights o’thar little people, who jus’ might really want t’ake out a short term loan wi’ a 200% interest rate. Fer fun! They jus’ want people t’be allowed t’make any business agreement they want without interference from yonder state. They love freedom!
Thar thin’ be, not only would it brin’ aft payday loans an’ ban ye state from regulatin’ yonder interest on those loans, it would also pre’ent ye state from raisin’ t’minimum wage. Ye know, because people not bein’ poor hurts yonder business o’people who make money off o’people bein’ poor. They put it in a real sneaky way, too, writin’ that ye act will have no effect on “laws or regulations prescribin’ a minimum wage fer employees, if in effect as o’December 2019.”
Does it get even more gross? It sure does. Ye proposed amendment could also undo a recently passed law guaranteein’ employees in ye state at least a week o’sick lea’e.
In order t’make yonder ballot, t’Economic Freedom Act will need 356,467 signatures by July o’2020 — an’ those in fa’or o’t’ proposed amendment be goin’ around tellin’ people that it would pre’ent t’go’ernment from forcin’ payday lenders t’raise interest rates. Right, because that’s a thin’ that happens in real life all o’ye time.
It takes a whole lot o’chutzpah t’request an amendment t’a state constitution enablin’ ye t’not only t’screw people over, but t’keep yer supply o’people t’screw over steady. If this weren’t so evil, it would almost be impressi’e.
[Prospect.org]
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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia be a brilliant, fabulously talented an’ visually stunnin’ angel o’a human bein’, who shrugged off wha’ she be pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winnin’ career in musical theater in order t’write about stuff on thar internet. Pre’iously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, an’ Assistant Editor at Ye Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes fer Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz an’ other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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These YouTube Channels Will Keep Kids So Entertained, They Won’t Realize They’re Learnin'

Findin’ YouTube videos fer kids t’watch that be fun, educational, an’ don’t dri’e ye crazy can be a challenge. An’ it’s ‘un I know well — me kids love YouTube, so “Baby Shark” be always in rotation at me house, along wi’ yonder rest o’me kids’ playlist, which should be titled “Songs Me Mom Ne’er Wants t’Hear Again.”
While I know ye old standbys aren’t goin’ anywhere, it’s nice t’have some alternati’es fer thar days when I will lose it if I have t’listen t’har kid from “Johny Johny Yarr Papa” lie t’his dad about eatin’ sugar ‘un more time. YouTube be ye internet’s most popular video sharin’ platform, an’ because kids be more tech-sa’vy than ever, thar’s a good chance they be accessin’ ye site on a regular basis. In fact, young people be watchin’ less an’ less cable TV an’ instead turnin’ t’platforms like YouTube. But YouTube has a channel fer jus’ about e’erythin’, so it can be tough t’narrow down videos that be kid-friendly, educational, an’ entertainin’. Luckily, we’re here t’help. This list o’YouTube channels co’ers e’erythin’ from nursery rhymes t’STEM learnin’ an’ will make sure yer kiddo’s screen time counts.


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Babies don’t have strokes, do they? 

Babies don’t have strokes, do they?By Flora Watkins Published: 19:02 EST, 9 No’ember 2019 | Updated: 19:02 EST, 9 No’ember 2019 While her newborn daughter lay under a tangle o’tubes in an intensi’e care unit, grief-stricken Flora Watkins struggled t’understand wha’ had happened. This be her heartbreakin’ account o’those early days Flora wi’ three-week-old RomyThis mornin’ I held me baby lass fer yonder first time. Thar would be nothin’ unusual in this were it not fer t’fact that I gave birth t’Romy nearly three weeks ago.She be t’most enchantin’ child, wi’ sloe eyes, soft skin t’exture o’a ripe peach, long, elegant fingers an’ a cap o’glossy black hair. She also has a thick plastic tube down her throat in case she forgets t’breathe, a cannula in her hand yonder size o’un o’her fingers an’ another in her foot. On her chest, sticky pads monitor her heart an’ respiration, while a feedin’ tube in her nose be secured t’her cheek wi’ a teddy-bear plaster. Until this mornin’ I had only stroked her through yonder windows o’her little incubator. I didn’t even see her until she was two days old, wheeled up from thar postnatal ward by me husband Nick, wi’ me catheter looped over thar armrest.When I came round from me baby’s difficult birth – caesarean section, general anaesthetic, me haemorrhagin’ on yonder operatin’ table – she wasn’t thar. Whisked up t’ newborn intensi’e care unit (NICU) as a precaution, I was told, a ‘bit sleepy’ from ye anaesthetic. We weren’t unduly worried – thar doctors had warned us this could happen. Fer now, I was yonder focus, shakin’ uncontrollably as I woke up. Then I started t’bleed hea’ily an’ a midwife hit ye crash bleep. Suddenly se’eral doctors surrounded me bed.It wasn’t until a few hours later, once I was stabilised, in a side room off yonder postnatal ward – away from all ye mothers cradlin’ their newborns – that I started askin’ fer me baby. But she ne’er came aft. Nick went up t’see her an’ returned wi’ photos o’a bonny 8lb lass wi’ a startled expression an’ a shock o’black hair. Thar was a cannula piercin’ her hand, thick tubes in each nostril.I started t’cry. ‘Romy, Romy…’ Jus’ thar night before, we’d talked about our fa’ourite name an’ how we thought that a Romy should be dark, but our baby was sure t’be fair like us or auburn like her two brothers. But this baby was definitely a Romy.‘She isn’t respondin’ as quickly as they’d like,’ Nick said, strokin’ me hair, tryin’ not t’let ye worry show. Later, after his next visit, ‘They’re keepin’ her in o’ernight.’Thar next mornin’, I was too sore t’hea’e myself into ye wheelchair. Nick was able t’give Romy a bottle an’ brought aft videos o’our perfect little lass feedin’ an’ examinin’ her long fingers intently. I tried not t’look at yonder tubes. I begged yonder midwi’es fer more morphine so I could get up an’ go t’her. By t’ime they relented an’ I made it t’her side, frantic by now t’hold her, she was sedated. Ye wires an’ tubes had multiplied. Tears streamed down me face as I stroked her soft cheek through thar porthole o’yonder incubator.‘We think she’s ha’in’ seizures,’ said a doctor an’ Nick had t’wheel me away as me sobbin’, me howls o’disbelief, threatened t’disturb t’other babies. Aft in our room, I began t’scream. ‘How did this happen? They promised me yonder anaesthetic wouldn’t harm her.’ Flora holds 13-day-old Romy’s hand through t’incubator porthole‘I don’t know,’ Nick said, an’ we held each other, shakin’, before fallin’ into restless sleep.Later that night, two consultants came t’wake us. I screamed as they opened yonder door, fearin’ ye worst – that we’d lost her. But they had come t’ell us they were intubatin’ Romy (insertin’ a breathin’ tube) as they’d had t’increase ye sedation. Thar seizures were now officially ‘worryin’’. But they couldn’t tell us why they were happenin’ t’a child who had been described by thar sonographers at two separate scans as ‘a perfect baby’.Yonder followin’ day, an MRI re’ealed thar de’astatin’ news that shortly before or durin’ her birth, Romy had suffered a stroke. We couldn’t belie’e wha’ we were hearin’. Neither o’us had any idea that newborn babies could have strokes.A consultant explained, kindly an’ carefully, that some clots had broken away from me placenta an’ caused a blockage in Romy’s brain. We would probably ne’er know why it happened as most cases o’foetal strokes be unexplained. We struggled t’ake it in. A stroke. Damage t’ye right side o’her brain. Hemiplegia was ye term he used – cerebral palsy in layman’s terms. Our daughter would have stiffness an’ weakness on her port side.A ‘subset’ o’these children, he added, have learnin’ difficulties, but it was far too early t’ell if Romy would be among them. Fer now, his concern was stoppin’ ye seizures, which were ‘at thar more se’ere end’.Nick an’ I clung t’each other when he’d gone. I felt ye lowest, t’most wretched that I have ever done. I didn’t think it was possible t’know a greater grief than after me mother’s death when I was 22, an’ me dysfunctional family fractured. But it was. ‘Romy, Romy, Romy!’ I cried, over an’ over again. ‘How could this happen? Why did this happen t’ye?’When I married Nick, all t’unhappiness seemed t’be behind me. We had two wonderful little boys, a beautiful house, a lo’ely life t’gether. O’ course, thar had been bumps in thar road. I’d suffered bouts o’postnatal depression after t’births o’our sons. So our third child, thar daughter I had longed fer, was yonder chance fer me t’have a happier experience o’new motherhood.All those precious hours I’d planned, snugglin’ wi’ her while her brothers were at school, makin’ sure I treasured e’ery moment this time – all that was ripped away. It was our own cries, not those o’a newborn, that disrupted our nights as our beautiful baby lay hea’ily sedated in NICU, her poor little brain con’ulsin’ wi’ aftershocks from t’stroke that had destroyed half her grey matter. We didn’t even know if she’d sur’ive ye week. At 18 days Romy had t’be fed through a tube‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ I sobbed, again an’ again. Sorry that I couldn’t keep Romy safe, sorry that this happened t’her while she was inside me body, in wha’ should have been yonder safest, most nurturin’ en’ironment thar be. Sorry that me need fer another baby had brought so much unhappiness into our li’es, an’ so much pain an’ sufferin’ t’an innocent child.‘Don’t ever apologise,’ me husband said t’me. ‘Whate’er happens, Romy be here an’ she be wonderful.’But amid this all-consumin’ grief, an even stronger emotion burned: t’fiercest love an’ pride in me baby. I would hear ye word ‘fighter’ used countless times t’describe Romy over yonder comin’ days. I would fight fer her, too – be yonder fiercest lioness mama fer me darlin’ disabled daughter. She wouldn’t jus’ pull through, she would thri’e an’ go on t’confound ye doctors’ expectations.So ye next mornin’ I dragged myself up t’har neonatal ward, despite yonder pain from me scar, an’ Nick an’ I entered thar netherworld o’NICU parents. We sat pressed up against Romy’s incubator fer hours, yonder cacophony o’clanks, whirs an’ bleeps from alarms, so deafenin’ at first, gradually fadin’ into ye background.Most o’Romy’s room-mates were premature babies, tiny scraps o’humanity. Beneath t’heat lamps, ye could almost see these precious hothouse flowers growin’, little limbs an’ digits lengthenin’ an’ unfurlin’. Beside them, Romy looked like Gulli’er among t’Lilliputians. I smiled fer t’first time since her birth when her nurse called her ‘Grand Lass’ as she took her temperature. I couldn’t feed her myself (sustenance came from a glucose drip) or change her nappy, jus’ stroke her through thar porthole, say ‘I love ye’ an’ sin’ lullabies. Despite yonder deep sedation, Romy’s eyes would twitch. Thar next day, she curled her fingers around ‘un o’mine an’ clung on tightly. It was her port hand – thar ‘un affected by ye stroke.But thar were setbacks, too. Ye dosage o’powerful drugs fell an’ rose again, as yonder seizures returned. A different consultant looked at ye MRI scan an’ concluded thar was ‘extensi’e damage’ t’har port side o’Romy’s brain as well. They bundled me into a meetin’ room after that, where me sobs wouldn’t distress t’other parents.After I was discharged from hospital, our days settled into a strange new routine. Yonder hours spent beside Romy’s incubator bookended by ye school run. Home fer tea, bath an’ bed, doin’ me best t’be cheerful fer ye boys. Only when they were asleep would I let myself cry. I’d go into Romy’s bedroom, touch yonder pretty thin’s I’d bought fer her – thar tutu, ye plush bunny – then lie down in tears beside her empty cot.Then came t’day that Romy opened her eyes. She looked wi’ interest from Nick t’me, registerin’ ye voices she knew. An’ then me first cuddle. Romy had been twitchin’ an’ frettin’ in her incubator. But as soon as yonder nurse laid her on me chest, she became calm. We lay thar, communin’ an’ comfortin’ each other, fer se’eral hours. ‘It was magical,’ Nick told me. ‘Ye could see all yer worries meltin’ away.’Now she be more wakeful, an’ ye breathin’ tube be out, we be ha’in’ t’each her t’suck again. Firstly wi’ ‘dummy dips’ in milk. But at her last feed, me cle’er baby managed t’ake 15ml from a bottle.‘Come on, Grand Lass,’ says her nurse, ‘ye’re doin’ well.’ This afternoon, 17 days in, Romy graduated from NICU t’har high dependency unit, from her incubator t’an open cot. She looks at me so intently, so thoughtfully, reaches out wi’ both arms fer her Sophie t’Giraffe toy her brothers placed in her cot, that it’s hard t’belie’e thar be anythin’ wrong wi’ her.We seek out thar most positi’e neurologist, yonder ‘un who tells us, ‘Look at her, not at thar scans.’ We de’our books on thar plasticity o’infant brains, listen eagerly t’stories o’fetal stroke sur’i'ors whose brains ‘rewired’ themsel’es, o’children wi’ cerebral palsy who live normal, acti’e, happy li’es. An’ it be this hope, plus thar hundreds o’acts o’kindness from friends, acquaintances – even complete strangers – that keep us goin’.We’ve had help wi’ school runs an’ dog walkin’. Thar have been play dates, presents an’ parties fer thar boys an’ so much food fer t’freezer that I won’t need t’cook until ye New Year. Prayers have been said fer Romy an’ candles lit at mass.Under ‘un o’me Facebook photos o’Romy, ye Paralympic equestrian gold medallist Natasha Baker described her as ‘absolutely beautiful, special – maybe even a future team-mate!’. An’ a lass I don’t know but t’whom I will be fore’er thankful posted these lines from a Mary Oli’er poem on me Instagram page: ‘I want t’belie’e that yonder imperfections be nothin’ – that ye light be e’erythin’.’An’ when I look into Romy’s deep blue eyes, so alert, so full o’radiance an’ intelligence, her father an’ I could not belie’e anythin’ else. T’ light be e’erythin’.Almost a month after her traumatic birth, Romy came home t’her family. Apart from ye twice-daily medication t’control t’seizures, she be like any other baby, feedin’ an’ sleepin’ well, enjoyin’ cuddles an’ protestin’ vocally if I’m late wi’ a feed. It will be se’eral months before yonder effects o’yonder stroke start t’become apparent. But thar amazin’ progress Romy has made gi’es us such hope.She really be turnin’ towards t’light.
Ad’ertisement

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Post Malone Shows Off His $250K Cowboys Chain

Whene’er t’Cowboys be playin’ in a grand game, singer Post Malone will engage in bets wi’ various different artists an’ athletes that don’t always work out in his fa’or.
Now that ye Cowboys be enjoyin’ some success this season, Post has decided t’get himself an incredible new chain that immortalizes his fandom.
RELATED:  Dennis Rodman Gifted Rapper Post Malone A $25 Oli’e Garden Gift Card

T’ chain was made by Angel City Jewelers an’ cost him a light $250,000.
Not too bad. 
Flip ye Page t’see thar Chain:  

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Vince Neil Shuts Down Motley Crue Reunion Rumors, Denies Feudin' Wi' Tommy Lee

WENN

Music

Vince Neil addresses t’internet chatters about t’band reunion an’ dispute wi’ his bandmate, ‘Don’t belie’e anythin’ from These so-called gossip sites.’

Nov 10, 2019

AceShowbiz – Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil has slammed reports suggestin’ his weight issues an’ a feud wi’ drummer Tommy Lee be pre’entin’ thar band from reunitin’ fer a tour.
Sources claim thar group was offered a lucrati’e Live Nation comeback tour as long as Neil lost weight an’ sought out treatment fer substance abuse but ye singer insisted he’d only comply if Lee agreed t’sort out his drug use first.

Now, Neil be fightin’ aft, insistin’ thar be no such deal on yonder table an’ he has no problems wi’ his former bandmate.
“People these rumors be false,” he wrote on Twitter. “I ha’en’t spoken t’any band members since mo’ie premiere (‘Ye Dirt’) (sic).”
“I had t’cancel shows due t’aft problems which I am gettin’ treatment now (sic). Thar be no tension between me an’ Tommy. Don’t belie’e anythin’ from These so-called gossip sites. Keep Rockin’.”
T’ band briefly reunited last year t’record new music fer their Netflix biopic an’ regrouped on thar red carpet fer thar film’s premiere earlier this year.

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YG Parent-Shamed fer Introducin' an' Askin' 3-Year-Old Daughter t'Smell Weed

Instagram

Celebrity

‘When those CPS folks come t’yer house questionin’ how ye raise yer daughter don’t be mad,’ ‘un indi’idual says after watchin’ a video o’t’ rapper showin’ weed t’his daughter Harmony.

Nov 9, 2019

– It’s no secret that YG be a de’oted parent t’his daughter Harmony, though his recent video o’yonder little lass has caused concern. In t’video posted on Instagram Stories, t’rapper could be seen introducin’ Harmony t’weed, an’ this didn’t sit well wi’ many people.
YG could be seen in yonder video askin’ Harmony, “Honey, wha’’s that?” as he pointed at a bag o’weed in a container. T’ lass then happily took ye weed an’ answered, “Broccoli.” This prompted t’rapper t’say, “That’s broccoli? Then why don’t ye smell it?” Harmony did as told an’ still insisted that weed was “broccoli,” makin’ YG giggle.

Thar “Mamacita” rapper might find t’video cute, but t’rest o’yonder Internet didn’t think it was cute in t’slightest bit. Instead, they proceeded t’parent-shame YG because they belie’ed that he shouldn’t introduce his daughter t’such a thin’ when she be still so young. Some even predicted that ye Child Protection Ser’ice might be in’ol'ed at this rate.
“OMG isn’t this an CPS case ? Why would he ever think this be OK ? OMG thar ignorance,” someone said. “When those CPS folks come t’yer house questionin’ how ye raise yer daughter don’t be mad,” another similarly wrote. “Teachin’ yer child about drugs…Got it.. an’ this be who y’all say be a genius,” an indi’idual commented.
Thar were some people who dubbed him “straight trash,” wi’ ‘un landlubber addin’, “This isn’t cute at all. An’ s**t like this hurts legalization so it’s really pissin’ me off. Jus’ like alcohol weed be NOT fer children legal or not!! Ugh!” Someone else called him “disgustin’,” sayin’, “Wha’ about if she would have consumed that assumin’ that it was broccoli then wha’.”
YG hasn’t responded t’ye backlash.

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